I’ve recently realized something about myself that I do not like! I have a tendency to go through streaks where I constantly catch myself thinking about and focusing on, the negative side of things instead of the “bright”! I’ve heard the phrase “look at the bright side” so many times that it’s lost the intended affect. If my husband says, “look at the bright side…” I often just groan inside and then wander off and continue to bicker, mumble and complain to myself or other people. I do this despite the fact that I devoted an entire chapter of my book to the subject of “focusing on SOLUTIONS” instead of the “PROBLEM” at hand. For the most part, this is the way I live my life, but I still have those NEGATIVE streaks. The truth is, complaining, bickering, arguing, etc, ALWAYS causes my life to be frustrating, difficult and miserable!! This is why I’m confessing this issue to everyone and I’m bound and determined to break this horrible habit!! I’m asking everyone who reads this blog including my family, friends and even casual acquaintances to please hold me accountable. If you ever catch me writing, talking or even thinking about the negative side of anything, CALL ME OUT! I want you to BUST me on the spot! I’ve asked my husband to use the phrase, “focus on the SUNNY side, HONEY” instead of the old cliché’ “Look at the bright side” since that phrase seems to always trigger negative feelings in my mind.
I know that some people would much rather discuss negative rumors, gossip and many other situations of this nature. It’s very easy to and even somewhat enjoyable to get together with a small group of people and feed off this negative energy. I’ve been caught in this trap many times! I declare myself “GUILTY as charged charged”. It’s human nature to take the “easy road” by adding our own little negative spin to a conversation or even starting the flow of negative energy hoping that others will join in. We all seem to have a natural weakness for being attracted negative information. If you want proof just read the headlines in any news source, TV, internet, newspaper, etc. The headlines are almost always focused on negative stuff because that’s what attracts readers and viewers. In fact, I’ve completely stopped watching the “news” because it makes me feel depressed!
As I previously stated, focusing on negative things such as criticizing, condemning or complaining always results in making my life miserable! I recently to read a book written by the richest, most powerful and wisest man who ever lived. I believe success breads success and even though I’m not much of a reader, I decided to take 5 minutes a day to learn what this man had to say about true success. The man is King Solomon and the book is Proverbs. It has 31 chapters and I read 1 chapter every day of the month. Some tidbits that hit me really hard on the 15th of this past month. Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; griping brings discouragement.”
15:15 “When a man (or woman) is gloomy, everything seems to go wrong; when she is cheerful, everything seems right” 15:30 “Pleasant sights and good reports give happiness and health.” The entire 15th chapter seemed to say to me, If you want to be miserable, unsuccessful, and depressed, hang around negative people and focus on negative information.
If you want a great life, full of joy, success and happiness, hang around positive people and focus on the “sunny side” of your circumstances. As a result, I’ve made a decision. From this day forward, I’m done poisoning my life with negative people, conversations, actions, thoughts, etc! Instead, I’m rededicated to hanging out and communicating with positive people, focusing on solutions instead of problems, looking for the sunny side of my circumstances instead of all the negative situations and events that occur in life.
I want to find at least 100 women who are willing to join me! We’ll call us “The Sunny Side” sisters! LOL!
This doesn’t mean that you can’t tell us about negative situations, events or problems that you are going through. There is nothing wrong with expressing these things to the group. Together, we’ll help each other find and concentrate on the solutions so we can get through tough times. We’ll team up to focus on the SUNNY side… honey! I’d like to incorporate this into the Rally Room (our TEAM BUFFMOTHER private women’s only group) since this is one of the many reasons I created the Team BuffMother in the first place! If you haven’t joined the Team BuffMother group I encourage doing so. It will change your life! If you already are a Team BuffMother member, and want to commit or re-commit to this positive group, please respond to this post.
Feel free to add your own special twist in your post but don’t feel obligated. It’s fine to just say something like, “I’m in! But, if you have any additional thoughts, insights and/or stories that popped into your mind regarding this topic, please jot them down in your post. Please keep in mind this is not a writing contest or anything like that. I know most of us don’t have tons of extra time and energy and I don’t want that to stop you from joining us. I’m member #1, who wants to be member #2, #3, #4…?
xoxoxo~
BuffMother!
http://facebook.com/groups/buffmother
I too, am guilty as charged! I will think of the “sunny” side today!
I think almost everyone goes through periods of negativity. I do it all the time.
thanks tara!!
it sure is!!
cool!!!
Great way to SELF PRESERVE!!
I love Proverbs what a great book
I love that your DAD taught you that!! sooo true~
as always great info
People at work always ask me how I can be so positive and “sunny”, when I have so much pressure at home (full-time work and school plus a family and only 1 car), so I simply put it this way……No one is responsible for my life but me, I choose to think on the “sunny” side, because if I let life overwhelm me, I might never get out of it…..So its really rather a self preservation tactic……Pluss I feel icky if Im in a bad mood (if I ever feel that way cuz of hormones, I just try to pray it off)…..Always works =0)
good ideas!!
This is something that I’ve been dealing with a lot lately.. I have totally find that mindset does a lot more toward your attitude than anything else.. either experiences.. or life issues… or other people. My Dad always told me.. walk into a room smiling… because that is how people will remember you…
I’m going to miss the 40 Days to Fit challenge messages!
These are great ideas Michelle and I am in the ‘sunny side club’. Got a great workout in this morning.
😉
Such good thoughts. I don’t like being negative, but find myself in that rut sometimes. Thanks for the reminder!
I woke up this am NOT on the sunny side, but I’m workin’ on it:) Maybe a good workout will improve my attitude:)….some Bible study, too!!
I think of myself to possess a “sunny” disposition, but sometimes life does knock you down and when it does, I give myself time to sulk, but then I always tell say, “it could’ve been worse.” Life’s too short to be down. We should always look at the sunny side.
LOL, what popped into my head was Monty Python’s “Life of Brian”…’just look on the bright side of life’!!! I sing that alot at home when things get too negative. Or ‘Tomorrow’ from “Annie”…my singing voice is so bad that my family stops complaining just out of self defense, Hahahaha!
I am soo guilty of the same thing, but stress and negativitiy are toxic and cause unhealthy issues. “Happiness is a choice” and every day I choose to be happy, positive and see the “sunny” side …. not always easy, but the payoff is so worth it!
Great post Michelle!!
Got in a 3 mile run last night after getting back from vacation and felt great! Love you video blogs on FB Michelle!
I love that. It is really true. I’ve heard that you can’t redo a first impression.
This reminds me of another verse…’as a man thinks in his heart, so is he’ (think that is also in proverbs, can’t look it up at this time), and Phil. 4:8 ‘…whatsoever things be true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’
Just to say that every attitude starts in the heart. BELIEVE in the positive. Remember times when you thought you couldn’t get through another negetive sitution, and then…something happened, it got better and you could see the sun again. When I get down and complain I make myself think of how there are others who are having it alot worse 😉
YES!! you are doing very great to still be running at 5 months along~ keep up the super attitude!!
Exactly~ and God is the ultimate creator of the SUNNY SIDE GROUP~!!
Got in my crossfit workout of the day in. It was incredible! I never felt so great in my life! 1 day left ladies!!! 🙂
I always look to the Sunny Side! If I can’t find a sunny side to something, I need a hug from DH. LOL! Then I’m better. 😉
Not sure if it’s possible to be positive all the time since I believe that things go in cycles but I know that when you feel negative you can use it as a time to reflect, be introspective and figure out a way to reevaluate or do things better. There’s a time and place for that.
xo
I completely agree with you. My focus is to always be positive and to not get sucked into our natural tendency to gossip and speak negatively. I found that what goes on in my mind is also very influential of what comes out of my mind. Keeping our thought captive to the positive is most important. Of course, being human we aren’t perfect. So when I have a slip up, I stop in my tracks when I realize it, ask for forgiveness from a person if necessary and God and move on. Holding on to the guilt of not being perfect and positive can also keep you on the dark side instead of Sunny Side.
Eat clean, think clean and forgive. Corny but I sort of like it.
This is so true! Negative thoughts can do so much harm, and although not the easiest thing to do…..find a positive or “sunny side” makes all the difference in the world!!!
In this economy we need to look to the sunny side like got my run in before the rain!
Great post and so many great comments. I guess if there’s anything I can add it is that where your mind is your heart follows so if we make an effort to read His word each morning and commit a verse, perhaps each week, to memory, the mind will be filled with good things and our hearts are sure to follow.
God bless you all!
You’re right! I’m 5 months pregnant and there’s still a lot I can do! Still running, albeit slower and with walking intervals thrown in to avoid overheating.
So true. Some people are negative, and it’s hard to listen to negativity when you want to stay positive.
I’m in! I too have been caught in situations with friends where the conversation heads towards the negative. Bad news sells!
Time to change. All things are possible thru Christ who strengthens me.
I’m with you, Michelle!
I am all about “the sunny side”, I try to live my life this way 100% of the time. When I have negative thoughts I instantly try to catch myself… it can be tough, but the moment you do things just seem better;)
You have done it again, just the reminder I needed today! The sunny side…honey! it will be from this day forward! I truly believe when the enemy speaks negativity God is faithful to speak or speak thru others positive things!
Very good point. Don’t hurt yourself.
Great reminder for us all, Michelle. I find that my attitude suffers most when I am too tired, so….. I tell my kids to send me to my room until my attitude improves. They just laugh at me!
What inspirational posts from everyone!! Thanks 🙂
I truly beleive that surrounding yourself with positive people will change the way you look at life!
Great post !! Txs!
Thank you for the post. It confirms things I’ve been thinking and experiencing. I work in a situation that breeds negative thinking and gossip. It is so easy to get caught up. Even the supervisors were involved. So I am in support of focusing on nothing but positive things…love, peace, perseverance, faith, hope, and joy.
often times it is hard to always think posative when there is so much negative in the world, it has taken me a bit to get back into a routine of journaling my thoughts and prayers and I notice that when I am praying for others to be blessed or for answers to their prayers instead of what I’m wanting answered for me that I feel better because my focus was on other people and not my self. we all have a time when we are negative and out of sorts we are human and we are not perfect, but I know a man who is and is willing to give anything. he can take my negative and down thoughts and change them into posative if I allow him to. Jesus can change the heart and mind If only you allow him to. He is a forgiving God. Thank you Michelle for taking me on this 40 day journey and showing me the things that I can do to make my life a lot happier and better one. I pray God will continue to bless you, your family and your ministry. God Bless!
Day 39!
amen, amen, amen!!
can you believe it? time FLEW by!!
I hate that when a conversation with friends turns BAD~
yes!!!
Hubby Hugs rock!
I send myself to my room sometimes too!
YES totally~ we need positive people in our lives!
only 1 day left
Negative thoughts drain your energy!
Ditto. I need to change my negative ways of thinking. Great post Michelle.
Amen!
I am not supposed to run because of my knees. The sunny side of that is, even though I like the results of running, I hate running!
What a great post! I try to keep my distances from negative people it helps me to stay focus and positive.
Positive is important. Going on a trop tomorrow, so this is my last day. Thanks for the encouragement
that’s living on the SUNNY SIDE!! so sweet that you spent time with your DAD!
LOVE IT! and LOVE having you ANG!!
did you mean a trip? vs. a trop? Have a fun time and you’re welcome!!
ditto!!
lol~ I’ve had doctors tell me that about both my knees and back, but I don’t listen, lol!!
I’m going to admit, that it’s the negative side that I’m used to barking about, but I’m willing to be one of your 100+, Michelle! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!
good reminder. when i jog i thank god for all he has given me.
today my dad decided to go with us on a “walk”. i had to get over that i wouldn’t be working out, but it was better to spend time with him.
sunny side up!
Getting back at it this week
I’ve been accused of negativity even when I feel positive. Oh, maybe I’m being nagative now? 😉
One more day! 🙂 I feel more FIT, even though at the moment Im experiencing some major HIF
The Light will always overcome the darkness.
GREAT post! I am bookmarking this one! I need this reminder DAILY!! haha
i can be very negative and I am trying so hard to stay positive– ! liked this post
we all can, it’s a constant struggle…YOU can do it!!
Great post….first day of school down!
It was a really down weekend but I feel I made the best of it allowing myself to feel my emotions but at the same time try and find the positive in the negative that was happening! Thanks for all you do!
Great post today. I’m in.
THAT IS A GREAT POST TODAY! How refreshing to hear the words of Solomon echoed thru the ages. I will join your “sunny side group”. It makes me think of the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, ” In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I do not know how much clearer you can get. And again in Philippians 4:6 – 8. The Lord’s directions thru Paul are very clear that we should not worry about anything but bring our requests to the Lord with thanksgiving. Then he goes on to tell us what to spend our time thinking about.
Today was my off day, but went out hunting with my husband for about 2 hours of walking.
Lora
Your vulnerability and openess in sharing is very courageous. Go the whole Michelle!
I use to think the same way. “Whoa is me” use to be my motto. Always focusing on the negative. It took me facing my demons to turn the page. I am with a very positive person who encourages me to be my best. It is because of him and my children that I am the person I am today. I smile when I should be crying and believe I can be whatever I want to be because of this positive attitude! It’s contagious.
I love this post! Always enlightening! 🙂
Love that feeling!!
Friends are so fun!!
LOL~ negativity can be sneaky
stay focused on the fit feeling!!
YES!
thanks Mandy!! I need the reminder very often myself~
What a great point.
AMAZING post!!
great post!!!!! What an encouragemnt that was Michelle!!!!! Thanks for admitting your struggle in this area. Admitting it is the only way to be real and to help others grow.
being positive is soooo important
I think we all struggle with being positive continually…it’s a constant focus for me.
GREAT stuff Lora!
thanks, Marlicia.
You are right it is contagious.
I like this blog. I think it is very important for us all to remember that we must make a conscious effort to remain positive…and it isn’t always easy 🙂
I have had that tendancy before sometimes it hurts me inside especially when I let people bring me down…it sux….but i found out that NO ONE can determine my mood, but me, so I have used that lately and it is awesome!
I LOVE this post! I have to say Michelle, I am very inspired by you. I have really struggled with my relationship with my church – I was raised very strict catholic and rebelled when I got to college. Now, at 39 with 2 young children, I am starting to circle back around the idea, but I will admit I am skittish around people who are very evangelical. I like how you live your faith, and I am actually getting tempted to pick up a bible. I like people who are “real” and not just putting on a show, which was part of my problems with my church before – people would act “holier than thou” but not really show christian ideals, and gossip and backstab and I just got so sick of it. Thanks for your thoughts. I am going to keep striving to be positive and SUNNY!
I have printed off so many of your articles you’ve put on here and I will do the same with this one too. I have the “Legacy” one on my fridge and read it everyday! I’ve have learned to get rid of the negative people in my life but you really made me think about the negative energy that we need to get rid of as well. I’ve been trying to refocus the way I deal with my boys when they are not behaving. Focusing on the good behavior I want, not the bad behavior they displayed, etc. Re-enforce the good, not the bad.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
I joined the RR a couple weeks back because I was so inspired by your articles and I am so glad I did.
Wonderful to hear that!! God is a vital part of my life~ we are not just mind and body…we are SPIRIT too. If you leave that part of YOU out life won’t be as magnificent as it could be!
Keep living on the SUNNY SIDE~ I know you’ve blessed me through your comments over these past 40 days too!
Thanks!!
love, Michelle
Maria! thanks so much for your positivity and your persistent effort to be your best!! I love that you are in our RR and I get to interact with you daily!!
I can get going in the wrong direction, but I catch myself and flip it to the sunnyside up!
WOW WHAT A GREAT POST!!!!
i love how real you are! thank you!
Everytime I read one of your articles it happens to be just the perfect one I needed for that particular day! How do you pull that off! lol! Thx Michelle! You rock, hope you never forget that! =)
Great article! I’m in!!
trying to be more positive……… feeling great!
I love to workout! it makes me feel good!
I know!! It’s so energizing and such a great way to lift your mood!
If I miss a few workouts I get down on myself….I need to refocus and be thankful that I can do those workouts and be thankful that I have a family to spend my days with on those days I can’t workout.
It’s far too easy to get caught up on the negative junk for sure as there is so much of it! My husband is really good at not getting involved in the gossip, slander, negative talk, etc so it really helps to keep me on the ‘straight and narrow’ so to speak! Great post!
So true – Im really working hard on being positive. I’ve been down the last few weeks. I need to focus on what Im grateful for, which is alot and not what I dont have.
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I know that when I’m in my raggy mood, nothing’s right in the world. I make everyone around me miserable and I give up when my workouts get tough. I have to learn to QUICKLY change my attitude—- which is all it really is… attitude.
Attitude is controllable and our choice- choose to be HAPPY!! it is so much more fun!
I think we all have that “nitpicker” inside our head, but each of us has a choice as to whether or not we are going to listen to it. I struggle with this every day; sometimes I remember to fight back and other days I just seem to give in to it. ~~ It is so important to purposely bring the positive into our lives, to make a conscious decision every day to see our world in a positive light. I will continue to do this in my own life, as it brings amazing results!!
so true- being positive is a decision!
Such a good inspiring article!!! Count me in!!! I have a precious Christian good friend who has become negative due to poor health and I don’t want to abondan her but am trying to get her to the Bright Side!!! Any suggestions??
I agree the best medicine is to move!
Complaining is one of my biggest pet peeves! I say offer a solution, not just a problem!
You are so right! I need to be more positive I too and guilty and need to read up on King Solomon!!
Keep it bright and sunny 🙂
Just lead by example and don’t let her negativity “getcha” down… complaining is contagious 🙁
When I catch myself being negative, I say “Change those thoughts” and repeat a positive thought over and over. I find I am being less negative on myself doing this
Getting my last workout in this evening at my kickboxing class.
Looking forward to a brand new year. A fresh strart in
positive direction. Stepping up my regimen and
continuing a healthy lifestyle.
Happy New Year! = )
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.” Helen Adams Keller
Just like complaining and talking negative is contagious, so is a sunny disposition. The power of suggestion IS powerful.
You are absolutely right on both accounts. Thete is always some kind of exercise we can do and what we say what we think about what we allow ourselves to see and hear has a huge impact on our success and happiness. I am going to make the same pact and committ to being positive. Give my troubles away and realize this too shall pass….all things are possible for those who believe in Him…. Being realistic about things but not negative and not allowing negative influences affect me. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
What a fantastic article! Thanks for posting it!! I also can get hung up on the negative and I’ve been working on changing that part of my personality for years. I’ll read up on Solomon and am happy to be one of the many other women who are joining you in your (and our) Sunny Side Up future!
I too, am guilty of this…and I KNOW that my faith does not condone this behavior. I’m going to ask my family and friend to focus me on the brighter side, and thank God for blessings, and learn from life so that u can be a better instrument for HIM.
I was once upon a time a huge “Debbie Downer” and I was also miserable. It’s amazing how happy and fulfilled you can be by focusing on staying positive!
getting ready to go for a walk with the family..Is a nice day here in Iowa :o)
Yes! Sunny side better than bright side any day:-)
I can’t stand being around “dark” people who always complain. Especially when they don’t realize they are complaining. I believe you can change your luck by thinking positively, communicating positively, and just keeping an open mind.
So true!! Keep living it Tina!
Super to hear you incorporate your fitness and family time!
YES…it’s so much more energizing to focus on the good! Glad you came over to the SUNNY SIDE!
WHOOHOO!! awesome to have you committed!!
Helen KELLER rocks!!
I got to MOVE IT, MOVE IT 🙂
yes!! solution givers rock
Great Post! Can’t believe it be 39 days already.
“If you cry for the moon at night, your tears won´t let you see the STARS” -R. Tagore (indian poet).
Nice! Great idea! Just a heads up but one of the days (I don’t remember which one) but you were writing about people at the gym in a negative way – you may want to think about rewriting that day? I work on staying positive too every day – such a key to happiness!
I understand what you are saying…I was not being serious at all…I guess my sense of humor didn’t resonate with everyone. I still love those people at the gym- they are there working it!!
It’s what we choose to focus on. It’s just another choice.
I was just thinking the same thing about the 40 days flying by!! Glad you did great to get so many workouts done and YOU DID A GREAT JOB COMMENTING!! Thanks Leah!
exactly!!
Speaking of the sunny side… This morning I am focusing on how many great workouts I’ve these past 39 days! It’s really flown by and I am excited about the progress I’ve made. It feels so good to be making healthy choices and sticking with it!
I have to finally admit that my closest friend of over 12 years is a negative force in my life. I’m genuinely scared of what I should do about the situation though!! She’s always been there for me but in the last few years I’ve found her constantly negative. What do I do????? Time to sit down & decide what to do about it. Thank you for the article – its made me realise I have something I need to deal with.
I’d sit down and talk with her about it. She may not even realize what she’s doing– I’m sure it’d be a tough conversation, but in the end she may thank you for it!